Real Talk on Self-Care
Some people say that wine, bubble baths, lazy days, and chocolate are never examples of self-care. Self-care can only be things like exercise and drinking water. Other people say self-care is only things that makes us feel good in the moment. Self-care cannot ever make us uncomfortable in any way, if you want to lay in bed all day, go for it. Then there’s the group that thinks self-care, no matter what it looks like, is only for those with money. I just read something that said self-care was only for those who shop at Goop, which made me laugh and facepalm a little too hard… (not self-care, btw, ouch)
For me - based on my lived experience and the training I’ve been receiving, this is where I’m at right now on this topic - there is some truth to every one of these groups and a lot of BS.
So, what is self-care?
For me, self-care is anything that helps one’s progress towards knowing themselves as a divine eternal being.
Self-Care is anything that helps your progression towards Knowing Yourself, which means you’re healing all the stuff and de-programming all the things, and you’re living a life filled with more and more joy.
This means the depression, anxiety, lack of self-worth, lack of self-love, all the negative patterns, bad habits, addictions, attachments, etc., are all getting better and better over time.
Which means…
-If chocolate, a bath, or a lazy day is what is needed to destress so you can process and plan better - get it!
-If drinking water and going for a walk in nature is what is needed - get it!
-If finding ways to destress, like yoga, reading, cuddling, whatever that looks like, is needed - get it!
-If joining a gym or starting a new exercise program is needed to get those endorphins going and get more energy - get it!
-If stopping the gym or exercising so you can rest and heal something in your body is needed - get it!
-If going to the doctor to get that thing you’ve been putting off taken care of, is needed - get it!
-If learning which form of meditation is best for you to quiet your ADHD squirrel mind, even if you struggle and get frustrated along the way, is what is needed - get it!
-If accepting that a calm mind is possible for all, and is immensely helpful for all, at times, is needed - get it!
-If finding a new type of therapy, like Somatic or EMDR and trudging through the muck, even if it stirs stuff up for a while again, is needed to finally heal it and let it go - get it!
-If committing to a daily routine of things that will raise your vibration is needed to help heal and live in joy more - get it!
-If holding yourself accountable, compassionately, is needed - get it!
-If being kinder to yourself is needed - get it!
-If finding a form of spirituality that resonates with your soul, even while your “rational mind” gets angsty, is what is needed - get it!
-If contacting your local energy healer to get those healing sessions booked is needed - get it!
-If learning to state and enforce boundaries with family, friends, co-workers, and bosses is what is needed - get it!
-If having the hard conversations with a partner, or whoever, is needed - get it!
-If ending relationships with people who can’t honor your boundaries is what is needed - get it!
-If finding a new job or career path that more aligns with your mission and dreams, is needed - get it!
-If doing that thing you’ve always wanted to do, but are too scared, is what is needed, even if it’s just a baby step - get it!
-If allowing yourself to be bad at something you want to learn how to do, so perfectionism doesn’t stop you, is needed - get it!
-If scheduling more family time or time with friends to laugh, cry, play, or explore with - get it!
-If learning to budget your finances so you can have less stress and drama in your life is what is needed - get it!
-If learning how to organize your home, office, car is needed to alleviate stress and drama - get it!
-If getting real honest with yourself about how you play a role in your own suffering, without shaming yourself, is what is needed - get it!
-If learning how to ask for help when you can’t figure it out or you can’t do it all on your own, is needed - get it!
-If working on eliminating bad habits and vices and addictions is needed - get it!
-If signing up for that class or workshop or program, is what you need to learn what you need to learn - get it!
-If learning to say no, to keep your plate less full, so you can have more time for family, for stillness, for peace in your life, is needed - get it!
-If keeping a daily gratitude journal, or affirmations journal is what is needed - get it!
-If doing daily/ weekly forgiveness work is what is needed - get it!
-If keeping a daily/weekly/monthly goals journal is what is needed - get it!
-If going dancing is needed - get it!
-If sharing your art or craft with the world in some way is what is needed - get it!
-If letting go of victimhood and choosing to take back your power is needed - get it!
-If letting go of your attachment to your stories of why you can’t do this or that is needed - get it!
Say it out loud: “I am worthy of love.”
That list can go on and on and on, but I think you get the picture. Self-care can be fun, it can be really hard, it can be excruciating, it can taste yummy, it can feel good, but the more you do, the more it will all lead you to a life of full of joy, love, health, and wealth. If you put in the effort. You have to do the work. You can’t wish it and expect it to land in your lap. This new age idea of it will just come to you if you pray/meditate hard enough, is BS, y’all. You have to take action. Yes, pray and meditate on your goals, make the vision boards, but take action, too. Manifestation requires action, not just wishes.
Some of that list requires some level of money or accessibility. This is true and can’t really be helped. However, shifting a mindset is possible for anyone. Some of the poorest, or most beaten down people on this planet have the best mindset and some of the most wealthiest/famous/has-it-all types have the worst mindset. When highly respected celebrities are committing suicide, even though they have all the money and access one could ever need, you know it’s not about the money. Money definitely helps, obviously, but it isn’t a requirement. There’s a lot of nuance that can’t be discussed in a short blog post, but no matter who you are, some forms of self-care are possible for you. If you are able to read my blog, you have enough access to do a lot on that list that can help you move mountains in your life.
People have been trying to evolve, progress, enlighten, better or heal themselves, whatever you want to call it, since the dawn of humankind. It’s literally how we’ve evolved to where we are now. Different people have brought attention to different areas of self-care for various purposes throughout history. It’s a great topic for a research paper, but this blog is not that.
I would love you to leave a comment about what your favorite forms of self-care are and what has helped you transform your life most. I’ll be continuing this conversation on posts on my socials. See footer for links!
If you’re interested in jump starting this process in your life, the Life Activation is what did it for me.
